The Ultimate Test
by TheSilverArgents
Summary: "When we do this, there ain't no chickenin' out. It's simple, we get in, grab the Tampax Pearl, and the get the hell out."


_A/N: This is a modern college AU, so y'all have been warned._

* * *

><p>"How much do you love me?" Katherine asked when Jack answered the phone after the third ring.<p>

Jack hesitated although he would never be able to put his feelings for her into words, he loved her more than words could ever say, but he knew if he answered incorrectly he'd get the Pulitzer cold shoulder. After a moment he simply replied, "A lot." with a note of uncertainty.

"You sure?" Katherine asked and his lips turned up at the corners when he heard the smirk in her voice.

"For sure, Ace. Now why are you callin' me when you should be at Journalism 101?" Jack asked and he heard her groan.

"I'm not exactly at Journalism 101, I'm in my dorm lying on a heating pad with a bowl of popcorn next to me and I need you to get something for me." Katherine declared, letting out a groan of discomfort.

Jack got up grabbing the keys off his desk as he prepared to walk out the door and he asked, "Yeah, whaddaya need?"

Katherine groaned again and let out a stream of curse words before replying,"Tampons."

Jack stopped cold, one hand on the doorknob of his room and the other holding onto his key. "Tam-what?"

He could practically hear her roll her eyes, "Tampons, Jack. The thing that I stick up m-"

"Jesus, Katherine I don't need a whole lecture on how that shit works; had enough of it when Medda was tryin' to teach me what the Sex Ed didn't tell us about." Jack cut her off immediately, closing his eyes as he had flashbacks he was sure he'd blocked out of all the middle school anatomy diagrams.

"Fine, whatever, but will you get them for me?" Katherine asked and he could hear her shift around on her bed.

"Yeah." Jack said trying to sound nonchalant, "Just send me a picture the box so that I know which ones to get.

This was it. The Ultimate Test. He had to go into that aisle and grab a box of those things. He'd need back up to go into the foreign territory, for sure.

* * *

><p>"Alright, fellas." Jack declared outside in the CVS parking lot to the six boys who were currently standing in a line as if they were going into battle, "When we do this, there ain't no chickenin' out. It's simple, we get in, grab the Tampax Pearl, and the get the hell out."<p>

Crutchie spoke up, "Jack, I've got a question?"Jack nodded at him to continue so he did, "Are we gettin' her chocolate too?"

Jack's eyes widened, "Tell me it isn't Valentine's Day too."

"No, no, no!" Crutchie amended immediately, "I just heard girls like chocolate when they're on their…"

"Special time of the month?" Specs finished helpfully and all the boys winced at the phrase.

Crutchie nodded and asked, "So, chocolate?"

Jack nodded, "Add chocolate and, oh, painkillers! There's gotta be stuff for the pain, right?"

Race's eyebrows nearly went into his hairline, "They get pain while that's goin' on?!"

Jack nodded and Romeo piped up, "Yeah it's like a pain…down there."

That threw them all into a frenzy, Spot Conlon began cursing quietly in Italian and shaking his head, Race began gagging while Crutchie patted his back sympathetically, looking like he might gag as well; Davey scoffed but still looked a bit horrified, and Specs just looked at the sky as if to ask God, "Why me?"

Jack quickly settled them down and cleared his throat, "Look fellas, here's how it goes. I'm gettin' the tampons, that's boyfriend stuff. Spot, you're comin' with me I need help lookin', Davey you're gonna get Clara from inside the pharmacy to help get the pain killers, and Crutchie, you and the rest of the boys are gettin' a boatload of chocolate." They each nodded as they were given their assignments and Jack gave them all a long look, "This is it, boys."

* * *

><p>"How the hell are we supposed to find these things?" Spot Conlon asked looking up at the looming shelves full of feminine supply items.<p>

Jack shook his head in shock, "I don't know. But we're gonna figure it out. First we gotta find the tampons, because I think we're looking at the period diapers."

"Ain't they called pads?" Spot asked in confusion and Jack replied with a shrug, moving down the aisle. Soon enough, they reached the tampon part of the shelf and Spot picked up a box, "Thank God, let's go."

"Nah, that ain't the brand." Jack said shaking his head, putting the box down back onto the shelf.

"There's a brand?" Spot asked in surprise.

"Yeah, I told you, Tampax Pearl." Jack replied scanning the shelves for a box of the tampons. The two kept searching the shelves and the came up empty-handed, finding multiple Tampax brand tampons, but no Tampax Pearl.

A salesgirl chose that exact moment to stroll in through the aisle and begin rearranging boxes on the shelf and she noticed that the two boys who were in the aisle seemed to be completely lost on what they were looking for.

"Do you need help with anything?" She asked them, eager to work.

"Yeah. Um, my girlfriend wants these?" He showed the picture of the box to the salesgirl and she nodded walking up to the shelves and plucking a box of Tampax Pearl after a minute's hesitation and placing it in Jack's hands.

"How did y- how did-" Jack stammered out as he held the box in his hands.

"Girls are much better at this than you." She laughed, smiling sweetly before making her exit away from the aisle.

* * *

><p>Standing in line holding your girlfriend's tampons had to be hard enough, but Jack being Jack had decided to bring his six frat brothers with him and his six brothers acted like six-year-olds, which it made it twenty times harder.<p>

"So, where's Davey?: Crutchie asked while Specs mussed his hair up with his free hand (his other hand had a basket full of chocolate).

Race snorted, "You know this is where Clara works, sendin' him for those pills wasn't a great call."

Jack laughed a bit at the point his friend made and as if on cue, Davey came hurtling into the line, apologizing to people who he was cutting across and dropped the bottle of Midol in the chocolate basket.

"Sorry I'm late." Davey announced, running a hand through his hair to try to tame it in some way and attempting to adjust his shirt.

Jack shook his head, chuckling while he paid for Katherine's supplies (without blushing, of course). When all the chocolate, tampons, and Midol were in the bags he thanked the cashier and he led the boys out of the CVS triumphantly.

* * *

><p>Jack strolled into Katherine's dorm room, dropping the spare key back inside the potted plant outside her door. She must have heard him come in because she immediately called, "Jack?"<p>

He walked to her bedroom, opened the door and found her lying on her bed in her pajamas laying on top of a heating pack and looking absolutely miserable. "Christ, you look like Hell!" Jack exclaimed sitting next to her on the bed.

She glared at him and he backtracked, "I mean you just look tired, the pajamas are real nice though."

Katherine rolled her eyes and sat up, "Did you bring them?"

Jack put the bag on her bed and her eyes widened at the sheer amount of stuff inside of it, "I only asked for tampons."

Jack rubbed the back of his neck and laughed, "Yeah, but then Crutchie decided we should get you some chocolate and then the boys couldn't decide which chocolate to get you so we just got one of each and then I thought you should get some pain reliever so I-"

Katherine cut him off by pressing her lips to his and he immediately shut up, focusing on her and the way her lips were moving with his. But all too soon she pulled away and smiled, "That was very nice of you. Of all of you."

"So did I reach the Ultimate level of boyfriend?" Jack asked excitedly.

Katherine turned to him, her eyebrow raised quizzically and he elaborated, "Usually when a girl asks for this stuff from her boyfriend it's a test. If he gets the right brand, he's the Ultimate Boyfriend."

Katherine let out a laugh and she shook her head, "Babe, I was just too lazy to leave my room, but you know what if it makes you feel better you are the most Ultimate Boyfriend I've ever had."

Jack pumped his fist in the air and she rolled her eyes, chuckling, as she grabbed a bag of Hershey's.


End file.
